Cheers 🥂 To 2020 - My Goals For The New Year

Is it bad that I entered the New Year NOT wanting to set specific goals for myself? 😂 The thought alone was just too overwhelming and straight up exhausting to me. No wonder it took me almost all of January to finally pinpoint exactly what it is I want to accomplish this year. I mean, it's the start of a whole new decade... so I feel like it's bad juju if I didn't come up with something to work towards.

So after thinkin' about it long and hard (and by long and hard, I mean about 5 minutes 😉), I have compiled a list of 5 things I want to work on this year. Some are goals that I've been working on for the last couple of years or so and I'm just expanding more on them...and some are ones that I have completely ignored altogether because I was either too busy, not disciplined enough, or just too lazy to work on. Yup, I said it. Because life, right?

Here's what I am gonna work on in 2020:

1. Carpe Diem - Motherhood Style

Seize the day. Seize the moments. Live each day with no regrets. Or try to, at least. I'm not talking' about jumping out of a plane or bungee jumping off a bridge or whatever it is people do to 'seize the day.' I'm talking about putting that phone down or letting the dishes pile up to sit and play on the floor with the little ones. We only get one chance at life. And I'm starting to fully realize that motherhood is only something you get to do once. I mean yeah, as mothers, we are told to "enjoy them, they're only little for so long" and we for sure have every intention of soaking it all in. But do we really?

I am a SAHM. And as a SAHM, there are days that are just SO long. Sometimes one or both kiddos are just super cranky for whatever reason. And I'm trying to get things done in between the crying, the "mommy I want this, mommy I want that", and the epic meltdowns. Days like these, I just can't wait for the day to end so I can get a break. It's completely normal to feel this way, I totally get it. And it can be difficult to want to "soak it all in" especially after a long and trying day. But now that Ella is almost 5 and Everly is not a baby anymore, and I see just how fast they're maturing, it really makes me sad that one day, they'll be all grown up and leaving the nest. They will never need/love/want us as much as they do during the baby/toddler years and I don't even want to think about that. My goal this year is to truly embrace the mom life chaos that I have been blessed with. Carpe diem'ing motherhood is all about not getting chores done if it means we get to cuddle a little longer. It's about putting the phone down (which is kinda hard to do when you're a blogger and content creator like me) and not worrying about capturing the memories on camera. Trust me, I am SO guilty of wanting to capture EVERY LITTLE THING they do. It's about letting them go to bed late because they wanted to read every single book they own for bedtime story (this is Everly all day long). At the end of the day, I will never regret doing the things that make them happy. Because their happiness makes ME happy.

2. Have More "ME" Time - more than just going to the gym

Life definitely changes once you have kiddos. Time is very limited to do anything that's out of the realm of mom-life. And it's not a bad thing! But I certainly want to have a good balance between tackling the responsibilities of motherhood while taking care of ME and MY needs. A healthy and happy mama and keeping our cup filled (whatever that may be, because it's different for every one) makes this 24/7 job better for all parties involved: mom, kids, spouse.... and then everyone else 😂. So I feel it is SO important to find something that seriously just sparks JOY in your life and spend some time doing it.

I didn't allow myself to have a lot of "me" time in the early years of motherhood but last year, I finally made it a priority to do that. I started going to the gym again. And just that little bit of time to just have to myself did so much for my well-being. I worked on that all year long, and even if I may have hurled myself off the bandwagon a few times, I managed to bring myself back to it and have been able to be somewhat consistent with it.

This year, I want to expand on the whole self-care thing and make the time to hang with friends sans kiddos. Most of my friends are moms and have been moms longer than I have. And, not gonna lie, I sometimes feel a bit envious of their "freedom" now that their kids aren't babies anymore. I've had mommy & me dates with a few of them over the years but now that my girls are older and a bit more independent, I feel like I can go out and do things without having to worry about being gone for too long. If you read my most recent post, I mentioned I went walking with a mom-friend of mine without my girls and it was so refreshing to have even just that little break. Now, don't think for a second that I am implying that having kids ruins your life... because that's not even close. I love my rugrats more than anything in the world. But I love my husband too and sometimes I really need a break from him 😝. Moms need breaks to recharge. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Anyway, I'm thinking' maybe a girls' night out. Nothing fancy or crazy. A simple dinner is always a winner, or going to one of those wine + painting things, or ooooooo we could KARAOKE! The sky's the limit, right? I'm totally fine with just coffee or lunch or even a froyo date. Just something where I get to connect with other moms who are in need of that girl-time. Because really... the ultimate goal with this one is to have a girls' trip to Las Vegas 😉😂 .

But yeah... if you got some fun ideas for this sort of thing, feel free to leave suggestions in the comments below!!!

3. Give My Blog More Love

For the past 2 years since I started That Plain Jane Life, I realize I have been putting all of my eggs into ONE basket. Instead of putting time and energy into publishing blog posts, I have been busy creating content for my Instagram account. The IG account that was meant to help me promote my blog. I got caught up in the whole insta-influencer life which, by the way, was not something I had anticipated.

I mean, I don't even like the title: influencer. It wasn't until I decided to take a little bit of a break from social media at the end of last year that I realized just how much I strayed from blogging about the things that I am most passionate about. And don't get me wrong, I love sharing my life on that specific platform. It gives me the opportunity to be creative and it has allowed me to meet & connect with other moms... I've actually made some great friendships! So yes, I have to admit, the insta-life has treated me very well. But at the end of the day, it's not my platform. Which means I don't have complete control and power over all the work that I put into growing my account on there. But my blog... this is mine. I get to do what I want on here and not have to worry about following rules that were set by someone else. So it only makes sense that this blog needs to be more of a priority than all the social media stuff. And I have SO many ideas! Can't wait to share them all with you! Don't worry, I still plan on doing thangs on IG, FB, Pinterest, etc.... so if you want to follow along, here are the links to all of my account...

My handles are:

Instagram: @thatplainjanelife www.instgram.com/thatplainjanelife

Facebook: That Plain Jane Life www.facebook.com/thatplainjanelife

Twitter: @MrsPeeden www.twitter.com/MrsPeeden

Pinterest: That Plain Jane Life www.pinterest.com/thatplainjanelife

4. Live A More Minimalist Lifestyle

I'm not tryin' to go HAM on this one, and I wanna say that we've been pretty minimalistic (is that the correct term for it? 🤷‍♀️ I feel like the grammar police might go crazy with this one), but I feel like I can totally do MORE. For the most part, we try to live that frugal life as much as possible. We haven't had cable in over 10 years (but we have the internet and smartphones so it's not like we really need cable anyway). We cut back A LOT on spending $$ on wardrobe especially fast-fashion (which isn't good for the environment) but I can't say that we don't ever buy any. Because, if I'm being completely honest, we live in California on one income and can't afford to buy only sustainable/eco-friendly stuff. But we try our best to limit what we buy. I haven't exactly adapted the whole "wardrobe capsule" idea, but I'm thinkin' I may need to give that a try one day. Call me a weirdo, but I love to declutter. Because I can't stand having crap all over the place. And I think I do a pretty good job at it, especially having lived a 1-bedroom lifestyle for the past almost-5 years. But like everything else, I feel like there's always room for improvement. Just overall, I'd like to be able to save more money by investing in quality, durable + multi-use items (big and small) so that we're not always having to buy things because they break or doesn't last long.

With that said... I'm totally NOT trying to be extreme with this goal. Because I don't know if I could really do it. So don't shame me when you see things like Valentine's Day decor vomit all over my IG feed (coming soon! 😆). I will say, that all the decor I buy for the holidays, are all decor I plan to use every holiday until I can't no more. But I'm definitely hoping to be more mindful before spending this year.

Which brings me to my FINAL goal for this year.

5. BUY A HOUSE!!!

This is definitely a BIG goal of mine!!! We have been waiting years for the opportunity to buy a house of our own but the timing was never right financially - we've experienced layoffs and hardships, credit issues as a result of us getting laid off - just a lot of life-changing events that prevented us from achieving this goal for years. But this year, we are hoping to finally BUY one.

We are currently living with relatives and while it's not ideal, it's something we had to do when we decided to pick up our lives and relocate to Daniel's hometown. It's a decision we made based on his career and his career-goals. And when we chose not to renew our lease to the apartment we were renting and had zero luck finding anything within our price range, we were definitely fortunate enough to have family offer to let us stay with them till we found the right house.

So... I am hoping and praying that this year is THE year we finally become homeowners!

There ya have it. My goals for 2020... and possibly goals for the rest of my life 😆.

Have you set goals for 2020? Care to share any of them? How are you doing so far with your goals? Tell me all the things!!!

---

Tags: #newyearsresolutions #happynewyear #2020goals #goals #lifegoals #bloggoals #resolutions

New Year, Same Me, Different Attitude

It's 2019 and I'm feelin' like it's taking me FOREVER to get my ish together! I don't know if it's because the last part of 2018 was just crazy busy or if I was just being super lazy but I really did not want the year to end. We spent some time with family and did a little bit of traveling (not far, just up to my mother-in-law's house near Lake Tahoe) and I was busy trying to live in the moment that I didn't really take the time to reflect and make goals for the new year. Once we were back in town, I decided to just sit back and relax and really take this time to think about all that happened in 2018.

Here's a recap of my 2018...

I rang in the new year as a newly mama of 2. Everly and I were fresh out of the newborn haze and was starting to establish some sort of normalcy. I was mentally preparing myself to go back to work at the beginning of March which meant I needed to get my babies on some sort of schedule to make it easier for the baby-sitter. But all that came to a screeching halt when I got a call from my District Boss informing me that my position was being eliminated, effective at the start of the new fiscal year in February. So instead of returning to work, I became a SAHM. Then at the end of Summer, Daniel and I made the decision to move once our lease was up at the end November, so that meant looking for a new place to call home. After a lot of searching we weren't successful in finding the right place and since we did not want to renew our lease for another year, we moved out of our apartment and in with family while we continue searching for our new (preferably permanent) home. And then, of course, the holidays hit and lots of celebrating and adventures happened... and now here we are.

New Year's Resolutions aren't my thing. Regular goals, yes. But the tradition of making resolutions and starting them on the 1st of January just doesn't sit right with me. I always feel like resolutions are goals that aren't meant to be taken seriously since a lot of people who jump on that bandwagon fall off so quickly.

So what exactly do I want to accomplish in 2019? Good freakin' question (I mean, besides finding our permanent home... and win the lottery). When I first sat down to really think about this, my mind just drew a blank. Like I couldn't really pinpoint any one thing that I wanted to focus on this year. I almost just said "screw it... ima just wing it like I do everything else." But over time, and after having a lot of conversations with my people in real life as well as my friends on social media (yes they are REAL friends, too... I just haven't met them in person), I realized that the one thing I truly wanted to work on is ME. Self-care, self-love... ALL. OF. IT. I want to make sure I take the time to be mentally + physically healthy so I can be the best mom, wife, and friend for my people!

For the past 3 1/2 years since becoming a mother, I have given soooo much of myself - to my kids, to my husband, to my job - that I never really took the time to care for myself. This is not to say that I was unhappy for these past few years, because that is definitely not the case. I am extremely happy. But I realized that I put sooo much of my growth as Jane "the person" on hold while I let Jane "the mom + wife" thrive. Some will say you can't have one without the other but I don't believe that. So many changes comes with becoming a mother. And I've had to learn and adjust with that new norm. And I learned early on that I am no longer the Jane "before kids" and can never become that woman again because duh, I have kids now. If that makes any sense. But so much time and effort goes into taking care of our tiny humans that we go into survival mode and do the bare minimum of doing things for ourselves.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of moms out there who have found their groove and that balance and I applaud them for doing a great job at it because I know it's hard to do! And this is what I'd like to really work on this year for me.

So what's my goal this year? To get back into the gym. Seriously. And not just for the physical benefits! Working out helps clear my mind and seriously does make me happy - mind, body + soul. Yes I am fully aware that it's going to take a lot of work for me to get back into the swing of things since I haven't been in so long. But the occasional spa pedicure or solo retail therapy or girls night out is just not enough for me to be the best mom/wife I can be.

Prior to babies, my thing was working out and being fit. I was a gym rat. I loved doing physical activities outdoors. I worked out at the gym up until I had Ella in June 2015. But once I had her, going to the gym was not an option because my husband and I had crazy schedules and we didn't have the luxury of having someone readily available to watch Ella so I could go to the gym. Daniel was a stay-at-home dad during the day while I worked and then I'd come home from work and take over mommy duties while he went to school at night for his Masters degree. My job was 42 miles away from home with a schedule of 6am-3pm Monday-Friday. Because of traffic in California, that meant I needed to be up at 4am, on the road by 5am. Then at the end of my day I'd have to hurry out the door at 3pm to sit in traffic for almost 2 hours to be home by 5pm so that Daniel could make it to class on time. And then get Ella and I both fed and ready for bed AND get my lunch together for the next day by 9pm so I could at least get a decent amount of sleep before the next day. Because I didn't get to spend a lot of time with her during the week, I made sure to spend as much time with her as possible on the weekends. Going to the gym was not in the cards for me at the time and I was fine with it. Once Everly came into the picture and I became a SAHM, I thought maybe I could finally get back into the gym. Yeah, wishful thinking. Daniel's job sometimes has him working nights and weekends (not all the time but it's still a lot) so again, gym time was put on hold. I tried the whole 'working out at home' thing and that would last for a few weeks at a time but I could never be consistent because Everly was a super demanding and clingy baby so it was easy for me to give up. So again, I put that on hold again. The one workout that was consistent for me was having regular mom walk dates with a good mom-friend of mine - which I plan to continue doing!

Now that Everly is becoming more independent and less clingy AND I'm not sleep-deprived or as tired as I was a year ago, I feel like this is the perfect time to get my groove back. And to finally work on ME. Because I deserve it.

And the world will be a better place because of it lol - one less grumpy woman in this world. Ok, that was meant to be a joke. But for real tho! I'm determined to make this happen. I'm determined to look and FEEL my best (I feel a self-love POST coming in the future) in 2019.

I feel like I've been rambling on for hours! Tell me what are your goals/resolutions for 2019? Share in the comments below!!!

---

Tags: #newyearsresolutions #goals #2019ismyyear #selfcare #selflove #postpartum #happynewyear